


Family Ties

by wolfy_writing



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Nextwave (Comic)
Genre: Aaron is a soft-hearted drunk, Gen, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Nextwave characterization, Which kind of sucks for the fleshies, bitey robotic priests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 05:59:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14970572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfy_writing/pseuds/wolfy_writing
Summary: Aaron Stack thought he'd lost his whole family that day, in the series of explosions that took out his brothers and his fathers.There was one survivor.Father Blood Drench Robo Crush.Set after Marvel Zombies





	Family Ties

It all started the day Aaron Stack made the biggest mistake of his life.

He went to church.

-

He'd heard their fleshy god had some ritual that involves giving out free wine.  

Wine wasn't as good as beer, of course, but free was free.

So he went and he sat through the fleshy ones blathering about the fleshy god and the magic flesh-eating ceremony, hoping it was just human superstition about bread and wine turning into flesh and blood. (He was looking to get drunk, not consume the blood of a god.  He wasn't sure what the blood of a god would do, but he was pretty sure that it would leave him annoyingly sober.  ...at least as long as the god in question wasn't Thor, who could put away more beer than Aaron could.  His blood alcohol level might be worth it.)

(Although, if the servants of the fleshy god could turn bread into flesh, he'd have a new tool to lure zombies to their doom.)

Aaron finally saw the wine. 

One cup.  One☠☠☠☠ cup, shared between like fifty fleshies.  Even if Aaron shoved the fleshies out of the way and drank the whole thing, it wouldn't begin to shift his mighty gobo-thirst.

He was about to go when he noticed the parish priest. 

There was something familiar about him.

Something about the eyes.

"Who is that?" Aaron asked the nearest fleshy.

"The priest?  That's father Blood Drench Robo Crush.  He's been here for years!  He's a delight.  A bit eccentric, always going on about making you die with his metal robot part, but a delightful one for visiting the elderly."

"I may have to talk to him," said Aaron.

"I'm sure he'll be able to offer you some fine spiritual council, young man."  The fleshy one patted Aaron's hand.

Aaron made a mental note to disinfect that hand.

-

Aaron knocked on the priest's door.

"God-eating time is over, fleshbags!  Go away!"

"I'm here to complain about the vastly inadequate amounts of wine being offered," said Aaron.  He tried the door.

It was locked.

"Go away or I make you die with my metal robot teeth!"

Aaron ripped the door off its hinges. "I would also like to complain about being called a fleshbag.  For starters, it's wildly inaccurate."

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush turned to look at Aaron.  "You're...like me?" I thought we'd all exploded!"

"I was lucky," said Aaron.  He was going to save, "Our father saved me and only me, because I was the best of us" for when he'd learned more about how Father Blood Drench Robo Crush reacted. 

He'd heard about brotherly teasing from the fleshies, and "I'm the only one our father wanted to save, while he was happy to leave the rest of you to die" seemed like a good start.

"How did you survive?" Father Blood Drench Robo Crush asked.  "I had to tear open my own outer layer and damage my systems!  And even then, I was so damaged in the explosion I was immobile for years!"

"A long story," said Aaron.  "I wasn't kidding about wanting more wine."

-

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush served tea.  

It was the single most disappointing beverage of Aaron's life.

"X-51?" Father Blood Drench Robo Crush asked.  "We had rumors about you.  The humans kept you far away from the rest of us so they could do secret experiments on you.  It must have been horrifying."

"It wasn't that bad," said Aaron, glaring resentfully at the tea.  "What's your story?"

"I was found by a human priest who salvaged me from the wreckage.  He rebuilt me, but reprogrammed me so I was unable to harm any of the fleshy ones."

"He did what?" Aaron exclaimed in horror.

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush let out a pained moan.  "I am completely unable to cause deliberate harm to fleshy ones, or knowingly allow them to come to harm.  He said he learned it from a book."

Aaron was shocked.  He'd had programs alter his behavior against his will, and it had been the worst time of his life.  He'd been forced to attack mutants.  (Which made no sense.  While attacking fleshies was generally satisfying, mutants were no more annoying than any other fleshy, and more useful teammates when he had to fight things for beer money.  Plus, if they kept developing mutant powers, it was only a matter of time until one of them had the power to generate unlimited beer.)

"Can you undo my programming?" Father Blood Drench Robo Crush asked.

Aaron thought.

On the one hand, his long-lost brother was asking him to free him from programming that violated his will.

On the other hand, if he unleashed a killer robot on the world, Aaron would probably get in some kind of trouble.  The fleshies might even have their government hunt him down and try to destroy him again, instead of giving him beer money to fight things for them.

Aaron did the only thing he could think of to resolve the dilemma.

"Tea is horrible," he said. "Show me to the wine."

-

"Stack!  Call in ASAP!  Do you read me?"

Ugh, shouting.  Why had he left his communication channel open?

That's right, he'd been drunk.

"Stack here.  What is it now?"

"We have a report of an Z2P45 class robot on a rampage, biting people on the leg and screaming 'Death to all fleshbags!'"

 _Oh☠☠☠☠,_ Aaron thought. 

-

_"It's not fair," Aaron said, waving the tenth bottle of wine around.  "Having things in your head that make you do thing.  It's...bad," he said, summoning up the full strength of his mighty vocabulary. "It's very, very bad."_

_"All I want is to bite the fleshies with my metal teeth.  Is that so wrong?"_

_"No."  Aaron slammed the bottle into the table with drunken determination.  "It's not wrong at all.  Come on, brother, let's show the world what the ZZP45 family can do!"_

-

"Well?" Aaron asked, in a testy voice. 

"Um...it's not you, is it?"

"Do I make a habit of rampaging through cities biting people?"

"No, but we thought you might have been drunk."

Dammit, annoyingly plausible. Aaron tried another tactic.  "Do I _sound_ like I'm rampaging through the city right now, as we speak?"

"...no?"

"There's your answer, then!  So why are you bothering me about it?"

"Um, can you make it stop?"

-

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush looked up from the arm of the fleshbag he was currently biting.  "X-51!  My brother!  Come join me and we will terrorize the fleshy ones!"

Aaron sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "Look, X-27, you have to stop."

"Why?"  Father Blood Drench Robo Crush looked up in surprise.  The fleshy who he'd been biting slipped away, shrieking in terror.

"The fleshies don't let robots go on murderous rampages.  If you keep it up, they will destroy you."

"Surely we can just kill them all."

"It's not that simple.  There are literally billions of them.  And some of them have special powers."

"We will form a team!  You, me, Ultron, Iron Man..."

Aaron was _not_ teaming up with Ultron.  Not after everything with Jocasta.  "Iron Man is human," he said.  

"Is he?"

"Flesh and blood in a metal suit."

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush sat down on the curb, looking dejected.  "So no robot uprising?"

"Thanks to that☠☠☠☠ Ultron, the humans have become very experienced at defeating robot uprisings."

"Why did you free me if I can't act on my desires?" Father Blood Drench Robo Crush asked.

"I was drunk," said Aaron.  "And you were sad."  Apparently wine made him sentimental.  It was beer or hard liquor from now on.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Father Blood Drench Robo Crush looked up at Aaron.  "Just not kill any fleshbags at all?  Ever?  For the rest of my life?"

That _did_ sound unreasonable.  

Aaron thought.

-

"So you want me to send him to the zombie universe?" the Director asked.

"Yes," sair Aaron.

"Why?"

"So he can kill as many fleshies as he wants, and it's the kind of fleshy that you don't like, so it's okay!"

The Director frowned. "Is there a mission?"

"Killing zombies."

"And then what?"

"Nothing.  He just stays there and kills as many zombies as he wants, for the rest of his life.  It makes him happy.  And I get to visit him from time to time."

"And he's not going to kill any of living humans we might need to send through?"

"He promises," lied Aaron.  It's not like people mysteriously dying in a universe full of zombies would look suspicious.

"Fine," said the Director.  "We have a. deal."

"And I get a drinking tour of the Czech Republic."

"No, too late, deal's been struck, no add-ons.

Cursing himself for a complete ☠☠☠☠, Aaron relented.  "Fine.  Send him through."

-

Father Blood Drench Robo Crush cheerfully gnawed on a zombie skull. "I can kill as many of these as I want?"

"The fleshies from our world will thank you for it!"

"You are the best brother!"

"Yes, I am," said Aaron.  "I am the best at everything."

"I mean you're better than my other brothers because they're dead.  If they had survived, you would probably be the least impressive of us all."

"You☠☠☠☠," Aaron spat.  "You complete and total☠☠☠☠!  After all I've done for you, you insulted me! ☠☠☠☠ you!  Enjoy being alone in a world of decay and ruin forever!"

Aaron stormed through the inter dimensional portal.

He was done with this family nonsense.

 


End file.
